Openness

Mom found this video a couple of weeks back. Watch it, it might explain some things about our family. Such as our openness during some conversations.

 

I know that our bluntness in conversation, blog postings and other things, have disturbed people, so has many other traits we have. Like when you talk we look you in the face. I know that annoys hearing people A LOT. I’ve had people ask me why I’m staring at them, I just reply that’s how I was raised.

There has been several times when my siblings and I get talking, and I would say 75% of these things would disgust people who aren’t used to it. And there’s usually someone there who doesn’t know ASL, so of course they want to know what we’re signing about, and, I usually tell them you don’t want to know. As usual curiosity, or my sibling, I end up telling them. They’re usually totally disgusted or at least try not to show that they’re disgusted, but that all depends on the conversation.

These conversations can range from the toilet, to guts, to animal facts, to nature facts, to facts of any kind, or just anything in general. It could be a general plain conversation, or one that you wish you’d never asked. And the great part is you never know… until you ask.

Which now brings me to our table manners. Now we have tolerable manners at the table, knives and forks, plates, etc, etc, no worse than the “kid next door”. But, when it comes to table conversation, we gross our relatives right out! Not that its not fun, at times we’ve even done it on purpose! It’s fun to see how long you can go without them totally losing their appetite or someone telling you to stop. Which ever one comes first.

We don’t do it often for that purpose, that’s a rare special organized occasion (so consider yourself special if its happened to you). Most of the time its just normal, and it just happens. Usually we keep it to ASL but, the laughter gives it away. There’s times that its just harmless story telling.

The four of us are used to, -when among other people, because most are adults and don’t like our sense of humor-, doing that. It’s a habit we picked up years ago. I know that our humor isn’t humor that some people appreciate. It seems to be one-of-a-kind Davies humor. BUT, don’t fear, it just seems to have affected us, the rest of the family’s safe.

ITS… wait for it, wait for it

DEAF CULTURE!!

 

Now don’t get this wrong, there are Deaf people who are more reserved than others. And it has varying degrees.

So next time you’re wondering why, where, or how we got this open, its how most of us were raised. It’s a good thing and it can be a bad thing. My friends have had to learn over the years. My moms parents have learned when we say “do you want to hear a fact?” at the table, you say “NO!” unless we clarify and say its not disgusting.

Its funny, those conversations don’t ruin our appetite. But, it took Dad awhile to get immune.

Speaking of food its nearly time to get supper ready

Bon-Appetite!

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Dancing

I’ve mentioned that I was involved in Davidic or other wise known as Hebraic dance for around 3-4 years. But when we started on our adventure, I stopped. Well I didn’t have anyone to dance with really. Nor a place to dance, my Mom and Sister probably would have danced with me but it wasn’t the same as doing it with friends.

I miss it, I miss it a lot. One day I’ll get back into it, when I have someone to do it with.

One thing that always bothered me about it though. Was the fact that to Deaf people the movements didn’t mean much or anything because they couldn’t hear the music or lyrics of the song.

So I started thinking well, couldn’t we sign the song while dancing? I know it would be harder to concentrate on the steps but, sign language can express things just as much as the motions themselves. Also hand movement is as important as feet movement, so why not. Only problem was there wasn’t anyone or enough who knew sign well enough to bring it to full formation. My Mom can sign but has a real hard time putting it to foot work, my sister isn’t into dancing. She likes it but, it’s a come and go thing. My brothers won’t do it either, nor would my Dad.

Some of my friends know sign, but, it just didn’t work out then.

The people that I danced with and I did do some choreographed dances using sign language, and those went over pretty well.

I loved the fact that Deaf people could understand at least the important part of the song, as well as praising Abba Father through dance. And its stayed with me since. Deaf people can enjoy it as much as hearing if we make the effort. What they can’t hear make them able to see with their eyes.

I put some dance quotes down on the side bar of my blog, and its true I would rather waltz through a forest than walk. I’ve always been that way. Music just starts playing in my head and makes me want to dance. Actually that could happen in a dessert too, not just green places.

Well I think that’s about it for today. If you would like to see some dances that others have done and other things go over to New Heights Dance Ministry.

“The journey between who you once were,
and who you are now becoming,
is where the dance of life really takes place.”
– Barbara De Angelis

You’re a What?

If you’ve read the who I am part of my blog, you’ll know that I ‘m a C.O.D.A. No that’s not a disease or anything. It means Child of Deaf Adult, if you’ve got 1 or 2 parents that are Deaf that makes you C.O.D.A.

I’ve always known since I was little that, because my Dad and two siblings were Deaf, my family was different. But, because we didn’t live in or have much contact with the Deaf communities, and every time we got together with the Deaf I felt out of my element. I don’t sign true ASL, I sign pigeon (mixture of ASL and exact english). So in that way I didn’t fit in. I can understand true ASL, but to sign it I have a very hard time. So I thought well I’m not really C.O.D.A then, when I think and say that I hurt a part of myself but, I never really understood why. Because my picture of C.O.D.A is Bonnie Kraft, or my Mom and Brother. I’ve never felt accepted in the Deaf community, even though I love Deaf people, I’m always feeling that I’m not good enough, and an outsider because I’m hearing. Well, people would say I’m more hearing than Deaf. I even had a Deaf person ask me if I disliked Deaf people, because I was hearing, even though the guy knew that I had Deaf siblings and a Deaf father. To me I couldn’t understand that, just because I don’t jump in right when we meet a Deaf person and start signing, that doesn’t mean I exclude them.

I’ve been wondering am I just not C.O.D.A? I’ll always be Dad’s daughter, I mean not C.O.D.A by culture.

But no I’m more C.O.D.A than I think, Mom found these videos last night.

Its in both ASL and verbal English, and it is absolutely hilarious.

If you watched this video, you and I both can now understand why my Uncle SO dislikes driving with me in the front seat. When I’m in the front seat I always help my Dad, he can do everything himself but, if you want to talk while he’s driving you gotta help. Of course I don’t touch the wheel, but I do say lights red, green, there’s a lady crossing. My Uncle HATES it. For Mom and Dad its normal I’ve even talked them into letting me change  gears for them (only while still in the drive way but I did it once on the road for mom).  I don’t dare do it with my grandparents, except Grandma. You should watch her when Grandpas driving she Literally TOUCHES the wheel!

We don’t have the lights on while driving, Dads number one rule for night driving NO lights!

Maybe I’m more C.O.D.A than I thought. I may be lousy at my signing, (I’ve had people tell me that), I may not know Deaf culture. But I do know that I have Deaf in my family, and I ‘m not embarrassed, by it (anymore). More like I’m proud, No one and I mean No one can dis Deaf people, especially when I’m around. Because you may not be talking about my family but Deafness is part of my family. So its like you’re dissing my family. A big no,no, in a C.O.D.A’s life. I (like my mom and grandma before her) get really riled, and, don’t tell anyone, but I have a hard time not going over and giving that person a piece of my mind, and a seriously hard lecture on Deaf people.

I know there are C.O.D.A’s out there that are embarrassed about their parents Deafness. People look and ask, kids can make fun of you, and you feel like a spectacle for the whole world. I can understand that feeling too. It gets a but much at times, its like HEY people we may be signing but you don’t stare this much at a person speaking another language. Find something else to stare at. And if you go to school (I went for 1 year, before we went back to homeschooling) it can be really hard, especially if it’s a hearing school. I know I hated it when my Dad walked me to school because, parents had to stay until kids went into the classroom. I always saw my Dad stand by himself, no one would talk to him or try because he was Deaf. I hated that. Not the fact that he walked me but, that he was left out. Many kids came up to me and asked “Is that Your Dad?” I felt offended at that, not the question but the tone of voice it was asked in.

I realized later that it wasn’t that I was embarrassed by my Dad, I was embarrassed by the people that avoided my Dad. I was embarrassed that these hearing people a part of me (because I can hear) and they are avoiding my Dad another part of me. The two cultures are hard to mix. A big difficulty in life, especially for a C.O.D.A.

So to conclude. I’m more C.O.D.A than I realized. That part isn’t going anywhere. And having a Deaf parent is a special thing in life (especially when you like the music loud Hehe).

Being C.O.D.A makes you a special person, its nothing to be embarrassed about, it may be the cause of embarrassment. But, if you handle it well its nothing more than something in the past.

One more thing.

I’M C.O.D.A and I’M PROUD OF IT!! No one can dis my family when I’m around! (its in all CODA’s whether you like it or not, you just can’t stand Deaf people being spoken negative about)

I like having a Deaf Dad, its important to me, as is having Deaf siblings, it makes Me, ME. I wouldn’t be ME any other way. Nor would I have it any other way. Unless of course YHWH had a different plan.

I love my family, so if you’ve got Deaf in your family, whether it be a parent, grandparent, sibling, child, you’re blessed. Don’t be embarrassed about it, be proud about it. Deaf people are as important in this world as hearing people, not anymore or any less.