An explanation for Traveller and Friend

My last poem, Traveller and Friend, I’ve gotten responses ranging from, what the poem was actually about to thinking that I’ve fallen in “Love”. So in clarification to the poem

1. I am not in love. No need to be concerned in that area.

2. The poem was to express my fears and concerns about the next step in life that my family is about to take. It scares me, I mean it terrifies me.

Father Yah has shown my family to settle, I won’t put in the details of that “settle”, at least not in this post. Because its almost irrelevant, its just the word “Settle” that strikes fear and hope into my heart. Weird huh?

10 years ago we sold our house, but it wasn’t until 8 years ago that we really started travelling. So for almost 1/2 my life Travelling, or at least not having any roots has been my life. And its all I know. For almost 8 years we’ve been praying for a place of our own. Over the past couple of years that prayer has increased.

It was always a distant dream that we could dream, but were forbidden to touch. At least for those years. It was a dream that gave us hope to keep going when times were tough and we wanted to give up. It was His promise to us, and one that we prayed about almost everyday and probably several times a day during the hard times.

Not many people understood, we were constantly being ridiculed and put down in different ways, because of our life style. By people who were established, and you can guess their argument was, a major part of it was because my Dad didn’t work. Well there were two reasons for that: A. we traveled there was no place for my Dad to do wood pattern making,   B. He worked full time in the ministry, he had no time to do pattern making even if it was possible.

But they weren’t the only ones to put us down. The couple that we traveled with and those really close to them, were always putting down people who had a house and didn’t live like they did, like they were wimps or something. So they could not understand our dream, nor would they help in that way.

And that’s a sore spot for me. I hate being nailed as soft. So when that was implied through out my life I went to lengths to show that I wasn’t. And its been a constant sore spot since. For me to put roots down which I have always been told (Not by my parents) is a show of softness. Even though that it has been my prayer, and dream I’ve always been afraid of it in a way that if I do get roots I’ll become soft.

I understand that this is an unfounded fear, and a silly one at that.

That’s not the only reason, just one of the major ones, another one is I don’t know how to live a life like this and its going to take awhile. With all the paper work and everything, my brother almost having emotional breakdowns everyday, the stress of finding a place to live and all these options but having no options at all, I’m starting to wonder if this is really worth it.

And with Dad saying that YHWH’s saying that settling is only for a time. Is it really worth it? Is it really worth the risk that He’ll take it all away once we get somewhere in all of this?

I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t take this, I realize that. And who knows what Father has planned and for how long.

But the bottom line is: Is It Really Worth It?

The Traveller and Friends

Afula and Tiberias 005 signed

Right now I am facing a hard trial. Except it isn’t a trial, it’s a blessing, but one that makes me both want to jump up and down for joy, and bolt all at once! Most of you would think that I would not hesitate for this chance but I am, strange is it not? Then again you do not know what this blessing is. So let me write a poem to explain such a blessing:

Traveller:

I have prayed a prayer

I have sought Your face on this matter

I have petitioned day and night

While at the same time been afraid that You

Will or Would not hear

I don’t know which I would be afraid of more

Until one evening the Most High answered

and said:

“This prayer has been granted for your sake”

What am I to do

Such a prayer I have prayed for years

I do not know what to do

with such an answered prayer

 

Friends of Traveller:

Such an opportunity

Such a blessing

We have prayed the same prayer

since you were young

We thank the Father for such a blessing

 

Traveller:

A blessing it is

An answered prayer it may be

But I am terrified to take it

Yet I am terrified not to

 

Friends of Traveller:

But you must

For this has been an ongoing prayer

that has finally been answered

And to be terrified of such a thing

Is preposterous

For there is more security in this life

Than in the one you are living

 

Traveller:

While what you say is true

there is one thing that is not

In the way I live there is a security

For that is the only way of life I know

For in taking this blessing

What if He takes it away

I do not want to go through that

That is what I fear most of all

That He shall take it away

Once I am settled in this blessing

 

Friend of Traveller:

There is naught to fear

For it is all a blessing

You shall now be like us

And have a life

that you have missed

until now

 

Traveller:

I shall take this blessing

But it is not with out fear

For what I fear may come to pass yet

It is not that I fear it in the long run

But that I fear

That once He sees me as established

He shall take it all away once again

I fear that He will be angry with me

I fear I will become unworthy

I fear all this and more

 

Friends of Traveller:

But that is silly

He would not be displeased with you

For something He chose to give

For He knows that if told no

You would have stopped asking

He knows that you would not go against it

He wants to bless you with such a thing

Just keep Him in the center of it all

You can’t go wrong there

For if He tells you time to go

You shall

For that is your nature

And that is why He has trusted you

With such a gift.

 

Traveller:

I see that you are right

I will go forth in this

I will pass this fear

And I shall keep Him in the center

For life would be bleak and empty with out Him

Our Trip To Australia

Ok here’s the post about our trip and how Father brought us here.

(typed last week posted this week)

Well as you may or may not know we were in Israel, and before that in Jordan because our visa expired. Our visa was about to expire again, and there were next to zero funds. A huge test for us. Its not like He hasn’t put us through that before but, it hasn’t gotten any easier through the years either.

We knew we could go to Jordan, how to get there and all that. We were just there 3 months ago. We had also had the thought of going to Australia. We knew the work wasn’t done, and I knew that Father was calling us back. But, because there were no finances to go, I figured it was my head and flesh wanting to go.

We all got ready for Jordan, got our brains around it, and started to figure out how we would keep ourselves occupied in an apartment for 3 months. I mean, like, because of the culture we wouldn’t be out much, we don’t know the language, the culture and all that.

Then around 6 days before we were leaving Israel, someone (who will remain anonymous due to privacy reasons) offered us the tickets to go to Australia. At first we weren’t so sure. Was this a test to see if we would go the easy route (Australia) or the hard one (Jordan). All this time we still hadn’t found a place to stay in Jordan. By easy, I mean, like: the same language, a place where I can walk and not feel censored because I wasn’t wearing a head covering, family, friends, a possibility of a drivers license, and much more. And by hard, I mean: not knowing the language, and it’s hard to describe but, if you’ve been in a Muslim country then you can understand.

Back to the story, so we prayed about it. Father had already showed me something a few weeks or so before but, I wasn’t going to say anything until someone else got something to confirm it. On Sabbath we got together as a family and made a decision based on what Father was showing us. We were heading to Australia, which required us to get our minds around something totally opposite of what we were prepared for.

Now we had to find tickets. When Sabbath ended Dad went on the famous –or is it infamous- airline ticket search. I call it that, because Dad’s airline searches can last from hours to days to weeks. In this case we only had a day, as we wanted to leave either Monday or Tuesday.

We contacted some friends (who will stay anonymous) in Queensland which we wanted to go see before we left Israel earlier this year, but it didn’t quite work out. They said that it was no problem for us to stay with them. So we got tickets to Brisbane.

A fellow we met in Israel (he makes the soap that my brother blogged about on “fromthericefields”) drove us to the train station on Tuesday evening. From there we caught the train (a double decker) to the airport. Everything at the airport went smoothly. And we knew it was what Father wanted us to do. He was with us the whole way. The lady at passport control even wished me a “Happy Birthday”. I’ve never in my whole life that I can remember been wished a happy birthday from a passport control agent. That just kinda made my day, my birthday wasn’t even until the next week!

Anyway, we flew out at 10:10 that night,

Afula, Flight, Queensland Australia 008 brighten, signed<Tel-Aviv at night>

to Seoul, South Korea, where we had a layover of 4 hours.

Afula, Flight, Queensland Australia 052<South Korea>

After we flew straight to Brisbane where, the wife of this family picked us up.

Afula, Flight, Queensland Australia 068 signed

We met 3 members of their family when they went down to Victoria, so it was really good to meet up with the rest of their family.

They took us to the Beach last Sunday. It was AWESOME! My first time in Queensland and my first Sunshine Coast Beach!

Afula, Flight, Queensland Australia 176 signedAfula, Flight, Queensland Australia 147 signedAfula, Flight, Queensland Australia 146 signed

We also went for a walk in the Sub-Tropical rain forest. But those pictures are for later!

So that pretty much covers it all

Heaven Above the Clouds

When I was little I thought that Heaven sat on the clouds, and where there was a break Father could look down on us.

I know that it was juvenile of me, but everyone used to tell me that Heaven was above the clouds, and pictures that showed Heaven showed it sitting on the clouds. I used to sit and look at the clouds and wonder what Heaven looked like.

When the clouds were white and fluffy I knew that all was probably well, but when they were dark and stormy I knew something was wrong and I just hoped it wasn’t something I did.

I also used to believe that you couldn’t go above the clouds because then you would see Heaven and that was only a place where “good dead” people went.

Every time I saw clouds I thought,”Fathers right up there with all His Angels”. And in every break of cloud he would look down and smile at me, except when I was being bad. But, He didn’t frown at me, or get mad, He would just get very sad and start to cry. And that affected me more than any amount of anger could. Because I hated the thought that I was letting Him down, and disappointing Him.

My picture of Heaven was put to the test when I was 9. I had only been in a plane twice before that one when I was a baby, and the second time I was older but I slept pretty much the whole way. I had no problem with flying, it was when I realized that we were going to be above the clouds. In the clouds I didn’t mind because I was closer to Him but not quite at Heaven, because you have to be dead to go to heaven you know.

But, when I realized we would be above the clouds I freaked out, not physically of course but inside. I thought for sure I would see heaven then get hit with a bolt of lightning, or just strike me dead some how. My only comforting thought was that I would be closer to heaven when I died, less space to travel.

What confused me even more no one else seemed concerned. After we finally landed I figured out that the only danger I was in was crashing. Not being struck dead for flying above the clouds.

I learnt on that trip that Heaven isn’t on the clouds but way above it and we can’t see it. I must say to it kinda tore at my heart, that my picture of heaven and Father smiling down wasn’t 100% truth. It took me awhile to get over that.

Still to today, when I see clouds when I’m either above or below I still picture Him and all His Angels, with all the “good dead” people, up there watching me down below. Smiling watching me grow up, and when I make a mistake they get sad.

Ok this is juvenile but it helps me feel closer to Him, than when I think of Heaven being up in space like people say. When I fly and the clouds are under me I always think of it…

Openness

Mom found this video a couple of weeks back. Watch it, it might explain some things about our family. Such as our openness during some conversations.

 

I know that our bluntness in conversation, blog postings and other things, have disturbed people, so has many other traits we have. Like when you talk we look you in the face. I know that annoys hearing people A LOT. I’ve had people ask me why I’m staring at them, I just reply that’s how I was raised.

There has been several times when my siblings and I get talking, and I would say 75% of these things would disgust people who aren’t used to it. And there’s usually someone there who doesn’t know ASL, so of course they want to know what we’re signing about, and, I usually tell them you don’t want to know. As usual curiosity, or my sibling, I end up telling them. They’re usually totally disgusted or at least try not to show that they’re disgusted, but that all depends on the conversation.

These conversations can range from the toilet, to guts, to animal facts, to nature facts, to facts of any kind, or just anything in general. It could be a general plain conversation, or one that you wish you’d never asked. And the great part is you never know… until you ask.

Which now brings me to our table manners. Now we have tolerable manners at the table, knives and forks, plates, etc, etc, no worse than the “kid next door”. But, when it comes to table conversation, we gross our relatives right out! Not that its not fun, at times we’ve even done it on purpose! It’s fun to see how long you can go without them totally losing their appetite or someone telling you to stop. Which ever one comes first.

We don’t do it often for that purpose, that’s a rare special organized occasion (so consider yourself special if its happened to you). Most of the time its just normal, and it just happens. Usually we keep it to ASL but, the laughter gives it away. There’s times that its just harmless story telling.

The four of us are used to, -when among other people, because most are adults and don’t like our sense of humor-, doing that. It’s a habit we picked up years ago. I know that our humor isn’t humor that some people appreciate. It seems to be one-of-a-kind Davies humor. BUT, don’t fear, it just seems to have affected us, the rest of the family’s safe.

ITS… wait for it, wait for it

DEAF CULTURE!!

 

Now don’t get this wrong, there are Deaf people who are more reserved than others. And it has varying degrees.

So next time you’re wondering why, where, or how we got this open, its how most of us were raised. It’s a good thing and it can be a bad thing. My friends have had to learn over the years. My moms parents have learned when we say “do you want to hear a fact?” at the table, you say “NO!” unless we clarify and say its not disgusting.

Its funny, those conversations don’t ruin our appetite. But, it took Dad awhile to get immune.

Speaking of food its nearly time to get supper ready

Bon-Appetite!

Faith, living it.

Afula 048 signed

Last night I went outside to sit on the swing, and I thought to myself/said to Father Yah, You have taught me faith. You have taught me how to rely on You. Yes, we must all rely on You for our daily necessities. But, some have had to rely on You more than others. I remember times in the past and still to this day, when I’ve had to trust in You for even my next meal, a place to sleep, and clothes.

Every time I look at my clothes I am always reminded how blessed I am even just to have the little that I do. Each item has a story behind it, a blessing, a small miracle. Its never the same with each article of clothing.

It’s the same with a place to sleep. Each night I lay my head down I’m always in awe of how well He cares for us. Never once have I had to sleep on the streets, He’s always provided a place. Though if that’s what it came to, to do His work, I would do it.

Even with food, I’m always thankful for everything that I eat, living this lifestyle has taught me what its like not to have enough to eat. I can’t get it out of my mind, even though while we lived with my Dad’s family for a while and there was always more than enough. It always stuck that every mouth full is a blessing. More than many people can understand.

I don’t think I will ever forget those times when we didn’t have enough food. Its happened more than once, and longer than just a few days.

He’s taught me truly to trust Him, like the birds of the field, but, my clothes are not like the lily of the valley. In fact they don’t even come close to comparing to the grass flowers. Not that I’m complaining. I would be satisfied with a pair of Levi jeans, a knee length skirt, a tee shirt, and a pair of work/hiking boots. That’s me, I don’t need fancy things. I’m “plain Jane”, He made me this way for a purpose, and that’s the way I am.

Its just who I am. I also reminded myself last night. He’s dreamed a dream for me, and He knows me better than I know myself. So His dream for me is better than one I could ever dream up. Because He knows exactly what I was made for.

Would I sound crazy if I said I love the nomadic lifestyle? Ok, not the tent part but, more living on wheels style. Living how we are right now, isn’t too bad when its 1 or 2 people but, when you get 6 its much, much harder, and almost impossible.

Backpacks Again!

Yesterday when we went grocery shopping in town we went to look at backpacks. Not big hiking backpacks but more like school backpacks. Which we have noticed over time would have been a big help in the past but didn’t take the time to pick any up until now.

They will be a big help for when we go to places and don’t need the big ones.

Afula 045 signedThis ones mine, Joseph also liked this one but decided to let me have it as he had his eye on another one. It’s a swiss pack, made to carry a 14 inch laptop, but it carries my hydration bladder perfectly (that’s the tube you see sticking out).

Afula 047Not a very good picture of inside it but it will have to do.

Afula 052 signedThis is one of the self portraits I don’t mind posting. My head wasn’t supposed to be cut off but, it looks pretty good that way.

The pack will also be my Photography bag. I probably won’t leave home with out it now.

Afula 063 signedMom’s been needing a backpack purse for awhile. Its much easier than her old purses.

Afula 056 signedErin’s pink one is totally her. In her hand is a book mark that she is almost finished cross stitching, I won’t comment about the one I’m supposed to be completing.

Afula 069 signedBen is quite happy with his. E & B’s bags are almost the same.

Joseph hasn’t gotten one yet and I don’t know what dad’s decided.

These are NOT, I repeat are NOT an excuse to collect more things. Actually for me its an excuse to get rid of things WHOOOHOOO! Not that there’s much. But with the extra backpack, I don’t want to look like an over excessive backpacker. Because I’m not, its all I own. So I’m determined to lessen the load on my back, stick the tent IN the pack and still be able to run! That’s my plan so we’ll see how far I get in that. Last year I disliked the fact that my pack looked like a mammoth, and I am not going to let it look like that now. Especially now.

So these are our new packs. But who knew one could be so happy with so little and 1/3 of it I don’t use. Pretty ironic don’t you think? I’m content with little, I don’t need many things to keep me happy. We’ve learnt to live with not having much, and in my opinion we/I still have too much.

Maybe I’m going too far, but, I just am not satisfied. I’m not satisfied with the weight of my pack, all the clothes and things that I have, I need to downsize on it all. It seems like an internal reflex now. Stuff = Heavy = My poor back = hard time on pubic transport and walking which in turns means no running.

You may wonder what’s your big deal about running? My big deal about it is that last year I felt Abba tell me that my backpack needed to be light enough so that if necessary I could run up a hill with it. At this point that ain’t going to happen.

Why does He think I’m strong enough? Part 2

He’s building us back up after the 7 month trip. I think it may take a bit of time. But I want to see that spark in my family again, I want to feel free again. To laugh, to see my family laugh, to see my younger siblings run and play, laugh and be themselves. My older brother to have that spark in his eyes, to be who he is meant to be. My parents to be able to watch their children to grow up with a smile on their face. Not to always have to think about where we are supposed to be next, or how they are going to afford the next pair of shoes. To take the worry lines from their faces. Its amazing what we take for granted.

I miss my sister drawing something, and being excited to show everyone what she did, and how she’s gotten better. My little brother, playing with cars and trucks, having that serious expression that always gave my mom joy, but could be turned into a joyful smile so easily. My older brother, yes he was often a know-it-all, but I miss his smile. Not the one he puts on now, that ones fake and only because he has to smile, I miss his true smile. The one that says, all is right in the world, or at least all is going well with my family. I can compare two pictures and I see the difference.

I can’t tell you how much I miss that. How much I miss my moms spark, my dads too. How many times I think about it and nearly can’t hold back my tears. Abba did not destroy the family, like Abba did not destroy Job, I don’t know why He’s taken the joy. Oh sure I can jump around and smile and look all joyful. But true joy for longer than 1/2 hour? I haven’t felt that for almost 2 years. But He’s still with us saying, “Hold on, I’ll hold you up while you cannot stand.”

This is my cry this is my prayer:

I was alive but I had no will to live,

I had breath but no dreams,

I had life but nothing to live for.

I want to:

Be alive and have the will to live,

Have breath and put my dreams to action,

Have life and have a whole world to live for!

This is my cry this is my prayer, Abba hear me! Heal us, bind up these broken hearts and make us a living, walking, loving, testimony for YOU!

(what I mean by world, is to see and take all the opportunities that He has for me out there, and in my own home)

To be alive and to live, not only for what He has for my life, but to live for Him to help others.

Why does He think I’m strong enough? Is it because I won’t back down, from a challenge? Hey, He knows I won’t I told Him so when I was 13. Maybe its because I know my life would be worth nothing without Him in it, and to make sure I keep Him in my life I will go. I’ve told Him that when the time comes and He sends me out, I want to be in the thick of it. Where I can help the most, where I can be of the most service to Him. My life wouldn’t matter any other way, I will either die serving Him and helping people, or He will preserve my life, either way He’s holding my life in His hands, and that’s just fine with me!

Back to the point. He doesn’t think that I’m strong enough, He knows I’m strong enough. He won’t give us more than we can take. He will stretch us out to our limit, and I mean to the absolute total limit, and what can feel like a bit beyond the limit. He may break us so that we can be made new. But He won’t break us, so that we cannot get back up. If we let Him, He always builds us back up stronger than before.

Yahushua said: Take heart, I have over come the world. (John 16:33b)

He already has our victory, He already has my victory, now I just need to reach out and grab hold of it. Remember we are strong enough, He would never give us something that we cannot handle. We might feel weak and puny but He knows better.

But, seeing my family like this breaks my heart. That’s why I’m praying for a place to settle or a place to stay for a while, so He can work in us all, and bring back the joy, the life in each of us. But, His will be done.

Thank you, all who prayed for us while we were on the journey and afterwards. You have no idea what your prayers meant and still mean to us, and how many of those prayers helped us keep going when we just wanted to collapse.

May Yahuweh bless you in everything that you do.

Now you may think I’m done but this is only the tip of the ice-berg. Until next time!

Surviving-the-enduring-race

Acts 17:28a   For in Him we live, and move, and have our being.

Why does He think I’m strong enough? Part 1

I was talking to my family the other day, about our 7 month backpacking trip, and how we’ve been living for the last just over 1 1/2 years.

And I thought to myself, “I wonder, why does He think I’m strong enough for this”?

I’ll be honest I don’t know. Sometimes I think that wouldn’t it be better if I wasn’t strong enough, and then He would go easier on me. But then again, I wouldn’t be me. I’ve got the mentality of what my mom calls a soldier, just because its hard, that’s all the more reason to try harder.

Let me explain something about those 7 months.

——–

When we left North America, we were prepared for North American style of camping. We didn’t realize how much different it was. I knew from the moment that we landed, that -yes we were supposed to go on this trip (I knew before we left as well)-, it would be the hardest thing we’ve ever done.

That was proven as soon as we put our backpacks on and walked out the door:

1. they were so heavy that we couldn’t lift them ourselves, it took two people to pick one up and get it on the one persons back (for the big ones really).

2. we knew nothing about what we were doing.

3. everything was pretty much double to triple what we would pay in Canada.

We managed, but I still remember the first week, He was in it, yes. But, it was still very hard. We all remember that first week and it was horrible! But He was with us. By the time we got up to the Isles of Lewis, -He was still with us- we were worn out. We didn’t have anything left really. Then with the hardships we faced there, it took everything out of us. I started to die, inside, I know there were others in the family that were already dead, just living on the outside. I was dead by the time we arrived in Birmingham. I was no longer the light hearted, smiling laughing girl I once was. I had a frown on my face more often than a smile.

It just got worse and worse as time went on. No one smiled anymore and if they did it was only for a brief moment. I hated looking into the mirror and seeing my eyes, because all I saw, instead of the spark that was once there, I saw sorrow there, sorrow and emptiness. I saw that in all our eyes. There was no longer the spark of life that there once was in each of us. Even Erin was no longer the clown and cheerful girl she once was, and it took a lot to take her down.

Now, I know most of you will say, oh you’re just complaining. But, I’m being honest, that trip was a miracle, not only, Joseph making it was a miracle, but that all of us made it. Because if you looked at the facts and statistics the odds were against us.

I know Abba Father was with us on that journey, not just because of the small miracles, but because, if it wasn’t for Him sustaining us, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have made it.

I was alive but I had no will to live,

I had breath but no dreams,

I had life but nothing to live for.

That’s how it was for all of us. That’s why I say, it is His will that we be alive today. It was His will that we went on that journey, and that’s why we survived it.

My old dreams are gone, they’re gone with my old life. Some of the old dreams are still alive, but they aren’t the same as before. That seven month trip taught me something: life is precious, and to live is to put your life in His hands, because until you face something that puts everything in Him, your life, and those you hold dear, life never looks the same again.

Even now I know that anything can happen in my life. Even though I am only 16, I know that life is short, and that there are more than one way of dying. I’ve died a total of 2 ways.

The first way, I died to self, and accepted Yahushua in my life. (John 3:16)

The second happened on the trip, I died. Not physically of course but, everything inside me did.

——–

So now that I’ve explained that to the best of my ability.

You can see why I wonder why I’m strong enough. I remember coaching myself for a whole 7 months saying “you’re ok, perfectly fine and have no excuse to stop or drop unless you literally drop cannot get back up or cannot get out of bed. But until you drop you keep marching”. Even though I could drop and not go any farther I pushed myself, and I wouldn’t let anyone else in my family drop either. I would not leave anyone behind.

I treated myself and others around me as soldiers. That is how I kept moving. But wouldn’t it be easier to be weaker than I am and then He might let me live in a house in one spot? No, it wouldn’t. I wouldn’t be true, I would be hiding and not taking up my stake for Him.

Do you remember reading in the history book or watching movies, about WW1 and WW2? How the soldiers even though they knew it would be tough and harsh, went anyway. Because that was the right thing to do, and if they didn’t go they would regret it. Many came back shell shocked, and with PTSD. I can compare that a bit with my life. To go is tough and harsh, with out the comforts of home. To stay would be something I would regret for the rest of my life.

We have not come out of this 1 1/2 year trip unscathed, no we all have our scars, our PTSD. Yes, I said PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Anyone can have PTSD. If you’re in a car accident and you’re afraid of cars or nervous to ride in one afterwards. That’s still PTSD, because you’ve been through a traumatic situation and PTSD is the after affect.

He sees me as strong enough to live this way, to go through the sorrows and hardships we must endure. I feel some how strangely blessed.

Imagine that, I feel blessed that He’s taken all worldly security from me, I have no house, no car, no place to call home and yet I feel strangely blessed. You must be thinking you’re crazy! you have almost nothing to call your own, yet you feel Blessed!?!? What are you NUTS!!!!!

Actually I may be insane! But He chose the fools to confound the wise (1 Cor 1:27). I wouldn’t substitute His choice of life for me for a mansion and the best that money can buy.

I said to my family one day. You know He’s putting us through a test like He did Job.

Job lost everything

He told us to give up everything

Job went through hardships, pain and suffering.

He’s put us through hardships, pain and suffering.

Job never forsake YHWH, but he did put himself as knowing more than Elohim.

During all of these hardships (that started way before we left North America) we have not forsaken Him, but, yes we fought with Him and cried out WHY!

Father corrected Job in his wrong. But, He also forgave him.

Father corrected us in where we were wrong, but, He has forgiven us.

Job’s trials were a test, to see if he would endure and continue to say that YHWH is righteous.

Fathers putting us through the fire, to see if we will come out still saying that He is righteous.

Job was given twice what was taken from him, and was considered righteous in YHWH eyes.

I have no idea what He has for us after the fire.

I actually don’t even know if this is the end of His test or this is just the beginning of the furnace. I don’t think I want to know the answer to that.

But if I do know something, He has a sense of humor, and sometimes I think its an inside  joke, because I don’t get what’s so funny. But if He doesn’t have a sense of humor how on earth would we have one.

Coming soon Part 2.

Life, How it is Now.

So this is the first picture to be posted that was taken with my new camera. I’m very happy with the new camera, it focuses a lot better than my old one. I got many good pictures out of that one, but I’m sure I’ll get many more with the new one.

I don’t think I’ve said where we are now. No last I posted was that we were going to move north. Well we did, and we’re in Afula again.

Dad’s been in a lot of pain, he still is. He was able to carry his pack to the tram then off and into the central bus station. Which was a miracle considering that all our packs were heavier than usual. Joseph  and I had to carry our packs plus dads to the bus, then off and over to our next bus. Not an easy task, when you’re carrying a pack that weighs at least 35 pounds, and helping to carry another one that’s about the same weight.

Dad carried it with Joseph, on and off that bus. Then Joseph and I carried it for a 7 minute walk to the house where we’re staying.

And I will put this in now, I’m very Frustrated!!!!! My pack is So heavy! I’ve done everything I can think of to lighten it! Someone gave us a new laptop and that is now in my pack, and with 6 people you need more than one and our old one is dying, but seriously you would think my pack would be lighter than it is! It is So annoying. I am at the point, that I have not reached before. Now instead of worrying if I will need this or that, I don’t care as long as I have:

  • my bedding

sleeping bag, sheet, thermarest

  • sweater
  • tent
  • camera (can’t leave home with out it)
  • Bible (no way I can leave that out)
  • rain gear

coat, rain cover for pack

  • clothes (which I need to down size on)

(Mom carries the pots and stove)

Everything else can go…….. I am sick and tired of having to carry this heavy thing. I want to go light, I want to be able to walk with it, not stumble under its weight!

I’ve also seen the need to change how I dress. Its a very small change really.

New idea for clothes:

3 shirts (1 long 2 short) check (but need one new tee)

3 undershirts (1 long merino, 2 tanks) check

2 skirts (one long one short) check

1 pant not check (still need to work on)

a few scarves too (very usefull)

That’s the basics.

I’ve decided that I’ve gone long enough without a pair of pants. I can do anything…… well…. almost anything, in a skirt. I didn’t realize that there is a very distinct difference in what you can do or how well you can do something in a skirt compared to pants. I’m understanding why women adopted pants in the first place. When we went to little Petra, I wanted to rock climb (well to the best of my ability) but because of my only having skirts I could not. It was not only the issue of people being able to see up it, but also the fact that well skirts can be confining. I still love my skirts, but I feel that the time has come for a pair of pants to come in the picture. I haven’t worn any pants except pj pants, for 2 years or more. I’ll probably wear a skirt over top most likely.

So now that you’ve heard my rant. Lets get on with the news!

Its getting cooler, Thank Yah!

We are supposed to get rain, and a possible thunderstorm, I am very excited for the rain! I have MISSED it, seeing the grass (what grass?) turn green (ok so there is grass, just not in areas that don’t get the sprinkler system) after the rain. 🙂

We are also getting over our colds, except for Joseph who is starting one. We are praying hard for dad, and I believe with all my heart that Yahuweh is going to heal him, and that he’s going to be 100% better. He’s been sick/in pain for almost a week now.

So not much in my world.

Oh and the people here have guests, so the house is full. But they allowed us to set up our tents in their yard. I love the our new 2 man, traillight Marmot tents! Theres plenty of room for two people, but then again I’m sharing it with my younger sister, but there is still room, and room for you to sit up. Mom and Dad got a 3 man again.

As I’ve said before, I’m not so much about comfort and what I “might” need, anymore, but what I am using, and what I will use for sure. And to save my back. I would rather be without some things, than have a bad back. When I lifted my pack in Jerusalem to put it on, before coming here, I felt my back crack and twist uncomfortably. All due to too much weight, so out goes more things, and in goes less. Maybe I’ll have room to put in food. I could fit it in now but the weight of my pack will not allow it.

Enough of this, I’ve been mulling this over and its good to finally get it down in words.

I will sign off now.