Because He’s my Father

Queensland, Cotton Tree Beach 017 brighten and contrast and signed.xcf

Father I’ve prayed

Father I’ve begged

Father I’ve asked

Father I’ve sought You

Father I’ve put it in Your hands

 

I can’t hang onto it

I can’t carry it

I can’t see what’s coming

So I’ve put it in Your hands

 

Three times, Four times, FORTY times

Father I’ve lost count

of every time I turn to You

And put it in your hands

 

People ask me why

Why I pray

Why I seek You

Why I ask You

Why I beg You

Why I put it in Your hands

 

I can only say

Because He saved me

Because He knows what’s ahead

Because He has the power to give or take away

Because it takes the weight off my shoulders

and makes me feel lighter than air

Because for the most important reason of all

He’s my Father

An explanation for Traveller and Friend

My last poem, Traveller and Friend, I’ve gotten responses ranging from, what the poem was actually about to thinking that I’ve fallen in “Love”. So in clarification to the poem

1. I am not in love. No need to be concerned in that area.

2. The poem was to express my fears and concerns about the next step in life that my family is about to take. It scares me, I mean it terrifies me.

Father Yah has shown my family to settle, I won’t put in the details of that “settle”, at least not in this post. Because its almost irrelevant, its just the word “Settle” that strikes fear and hope into my heart. Weird huh?

10 years ago we sold our house, but it wasn’t until 8 years ago that we really started travelling. So for almost 1/2 my life Travelling, or at least not having any roots has been my life. And its all I know. For almost 8 years we’ve been praying for a place of our own. Over the past couple of years that prayer has increased.

It was always a distant dream that we could dream, but were forbidden to touch. At least for those years. It was a dream that gave us hope to keep going when times were tough and we wanted to give up. It was His promise to us, and one that we prayed about almost everyday and probably several times a day during the hard times.

Not many people understood, we were constantly being ridiculed and put down in different ways, because of our life style. By people who were established, and you can guess their argument was, a major part of it was because my Dad didn’t work. Well there were two reasons for that: A. we traveled there was no place for my Dad to do wood pattern making,   B. He worked full time in the ministry, he had no time to do pattern making even if it was possible.

But they weren’t the only ones to put us down. The couple that we traveled with and those really close to them, were always putting down people who had a house and didn’t live like they did, like they were wimps or something. So they could not understand our dream, nor would they help in that way.

And that’s a sore spot for me. I hate being nailed as soft. So when that was implied through out my life I went to lengths to show that I wasn’t. And its been a constant sore spot since. For me to put roots down which I have always been told (Not by my parents) is a show of softness. Even though that it has been my prayer, and dream I’ve always been afraid of it in a way that if I do get roots I’ll become soft.

I understand that this is an unfounded fear, and a silly one at that.

That’s not the only reason, just one of the major ones, another one is I don’t know how to live a life like this and its going to take awhile. With all the paper work and everything, my brother almost having emotional breakdowns everyday, the stress of finding a place to live and all these options but having no options at all, I’m starting to wonder if this is really worth it.

And with Dad saying that YHWH’s saying that settling is only for a time. Is it really worth it? Is it really worth the risk that He’ll take it all away once we get somewhere in all of this?

I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t take this, I realize that. And who knows what Father has planned and for how long.

But the bottom line is: Is It Really Worth It?

The Traveller and Friends

Afula and Tiberias 005 signed

Right now I am facing a hard trial. Except it isn’t a trial, it’s a blessing, but one that makes me both want to jump up and down for joy, and bolt all at once! Most of you would think that I would not hesitate for this chance but I am, strange is it not? Then again you do not know what this blessing is. So let me write a poem to explain such a blessing:

Traveller:

I have prayed a prayer

I have sought Your face on this matter

I have petitioned day and night

While at the same time been afraid that You

Will or Would not hear

I don’t know which I would be afraid of more

Until one evening the Most High answered

and said:

“This prayer has been granted for your sake”

What am I to do

Such a prayer I have prayed for years

I do not know what to do

with such an answered prayer

 

Friends of Traveller:

Such an opportunity

Such a blessing

We have prayed the same prayer

since you were young

We thank the Father for such a blessing

 

Traveller:

A blessing it is

An answered prayer it may be

But I am terrified to take it

Yet I am terrified not to

 

Friends of Traveller:

But you must

For this has been an ongoing prayer

that has finally been answered

And to be terrified of such a thing

Is preposterous

For there is more security in this life

Than in the one you are living

 

Traveller:

While what you say is true

there is one thing that is not

In the way I live there is a security

For that is the only way of life I know

For in taking this blessing

What if He takes it away

I do not want to go through that

That is what I fear most of all

That He shall take it away

Once I am settled in this blessing

 

Friend of Traveller:

There is naught to fear

For it is all a blessing

You shall now be like us

And have a life

that you have missed

until now

 

Traveller:

I shall take this blessing

But it is not with out fear

For what I fear may come to pass yet

It is not that I fear it in the long run

But that I fear

That once He sees me as established

He shall take it all away once again

I fear that He will be angry with me

I fear I will become unworthy

I fear all this and more

 

Friends of Traveller:

But that is silly

He would not be displeased with you

For something He chose to give

For He knows that if told no

You would have stopped asking

He knows that you would not go against it

He wants to bless you with such a thing

Just keep Him in the center of it all

You can’t go wrong there

For if He tells you time to go

You shall

For that is your nature

And that is why He has trusted you

With such a gift.

 

Traveller:

I see that you are right

I will go forth in this

I will pass this fear

And I shall keep Him in the center

For life would be bleak and empty with out Him

Hearts: Can you trust them?

Queensland 121

Can I trust my heart?

This is a valid question, and one many including myself have asked. You’ve heard and possibly even said, “ follow your heart” “listen to your heart” or “ what’s your heart telling you”. You may have said or heard the exact opposite, “ Don’t listen to your heart, it can be deceitful” “ you can’t make proper decisions with your heart because it isn’t logical” and other things.

Lets look at this scripturally first, then we’ll look at it in our own lives.

(Psa 10:17)  יהוה, You have heard the desire of the lowly ones; You prepare their heart; You incline Your ear,

(Psa 37:4)  And delight yourself in יהוה, And let Him give you the desires of your heart.

(Psa 84:5)  Blessed is the man whose strength is in You; Your ways are in their hearts.

(Pro 3:5)  Trust in יהוה with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;

(Pro 16:9)  A man’s heart plans his way, But יהוה establishes his steps.

Each of these verses have something to say about the heart. They tell us that our heart gives us ideas and can in fact be right about some things, but we need to give it over to Father so that He can guide us.

Now lets look at the verses say the almost opposite of the ones above.

Pro 28:26  He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely is delivered.

Mat 15:18  “But what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and these defile the man.
Mat 15:19  “For out of the heart come forth wicked reasonings, murders, adulteries, whorings, thefts, false witnessings, slanders.

Mar_7:21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,

Then we have it saying that its foolish to trust your heart, but if you walk wisely you are saved. The beginning of wisdom is the fear of YHWH, that’s somewhere in Proverbs.

Matthew gives us good reason not to trust the heart, for it is filled with vile things.

Still yet:

(Psa_119:11)  I have treasured up Your word in my heart, That I might not sin against You.

If He and His word is in us we don’t need to fear what is in our heart, for He has said that He will write his commands upon our hearts. We will still need to be cautious and continuously check it for what is not good but, for the most part all we want to do is follow Him. And so that is what our heart will want too.

We can’t always trust our heart but, we would also be foolish to shove it to the side and not check and see what’s inside. To discern what is right in there and to cast out what is not. Because the more we check ourselves and what is in our heart, and replace the bad with the good, the less wickedness will dwell there. We will also be able to catch it faster, for we will have a better sense of right and wrong.

But, we need to be careful, because there are times when we are afraid to see what’s in there. We don’t want to see it, for two possible different reasons.

One: Afraid that it won’t be right.

Two: Afraid that it is.

Both these aren’t reasons to be scared, because if it isn’t right then you can replace it with something that is, and if it is right well that’s another time to count when your heart was right. Can you see where I’m going here?

You can’t trust your heart 100% but, you shouldn’t ignore it either. Because Father puts it in our hearts first then confirms it. We always need to inspect our hearts and make sure they are right with Him, then if they are clean we have no reason to be afraid of what’s in there.

I guess that is the conclusion. Search your own heart, is Father trying to show you some thing though it?

Surviving-the-enduring-race

Do You Remember

Afula, Flight, Queensland Australia 138 signed

 

Do You remember

remember that day so long ago

when You decided that it was time

for me to be born

 

When You said

I have plans for this baby girl

I placed her here

and its time for her to go forth

 

Do You remember

remember that day so long ago

when You decided that it was time

for me to be born

 

When You said to Your Angels

Watch over her

Its time for her to face the world

But she never need fear

For she shall never be alone

 

Do You remember

remember that day so long ago

when You decided that it was time

for me to be born

 

You said it will be hard

to see her go through what she must

but in the end

I will be the proudest Daddy alive

To know that I have such a daughter as she

 

Do you remember

remember that day so long ago

when you decided that it was time

for me to be born

 

It’s been 17 years

since that day so long ago

when You gave me to my parents

told me it was time to go

time to start the life

that You made me for

 

Do You remember

remember that day so long ago

when you decided that it was time

for me to be born

Heaven Above the Clouds

When I was little I thought that Heaven sat on the clouds, and where there was a break Father could look down on us.

I know that it was juvenile of me, but everyone used to tell me that Heaven was above the clouds, and pictures that showed Heaven showed it sitting on the clouds. I used to sit and look at the clouds and wonder what Heaven looked like.

When the clouds were white and fluffy I knew that all was probably well, but when they were dark and stormy I knew something was wrong and I just hoped it wasn’t something I did.

I also used to believe that you couldn’t go above the clouds because then you would see Heaven and that was only a place where “good dead” people went.

Every time I saw clouds I thought,”Fathers right up there with all His Angels”. And in every break of cloud he would look down and smile at me, except when I was being bad. But, He didn’t frown at me, or get mad, He would just get very sad and start to cry. And that affected me more than any amount of anger could. Because I hated the thought that I was letting Him down, and disappointing Him.

My picture of Heaven was put to the test when I was 9. I had only been in a plane twice before that one when I was a baby, and the second time I was older but I slept pretty much the whole way. I had no problem with flying, it was when I realized that we were going to be above the clouds. In the clouds I didn’t mind because I was closer to Him but not quite at Heaven, because you have to be dead to go to heaven you know.

But, when I realized we would be above the clouds I freaked out, not physically of course but inside. I thought for sure I would see heaven then get hit with a bolt of lightning, or just strike me dead some how. My only comforting thought was that I would be closer to heaven when I died, less space to travel.

What confused me even more no one else seemed concerned. After we finally landed I figured out that the only danger I was in was crashing. Not being struck dead for flying above the clouds.

I learnt on that trip that Heaven isn’t on the clouds but way above it and we can’t see it. I must say to it kinda tore at my heart, that my picture of heaven and Father smiling down wasn’t 100% truth. It took me awhile to get over that.

Still to today, when I see clouds when I’m either above or below I still picture Him and all His Angels, with all the “good dead” people, up there watching me down below. Smiling watching me grow up, and when I make a mistake they get sad.

Ok this is juvenile but it helps me feel closer to Him, than when I think of Heaven being up in space like people say. When I fly and the clouds are under me I always think of it…

The Path

Afula and Crafts 021 signedIts hard

Its narrow

Its not like any

I’ve ever faced

People ask why

I take the hard road

But I say why not?

Yes it is hard

and Yes it isn’t easy

Yes its not conventional

It seems silly to you

to take the hardest path

But in the end

you will understand

why I took the hardest path

Don’t worry

there are others

on the same path

for the same reason as I am

for narrow and hard pressed

is the way to life

What I cannot see

Afula and Tiberias 100 signed

Blurry back ground

blurry to the eyes

we can’t be sure what is out there

 

Only one can

And that’s my Father in Heaven

and to Him I trust what I cannot see

~           ~          ~         ~            ~

Father doesn’t always tell us the plan. He at times gives us the big picture but not the details of that picture. The only details we can see is what we’re living in right now, not what’s ahead of us.

Its hard, its never been easy. It wasn’t easy for Noah, it wasn’t easy for Abraham, it wasn’t easy for Joseph. Father gave Joseph dreams of his family bowing to him. A bigger picture to be sure, but no details as to how it would come about, and I’m pretty sure that if he knew the details the story wouldn’t have happened like it did. So I’m learning to stop asking for the details and just for the bigger picture.

That’s what the picture inspired me on.

Nomadic Siblings

My brothers, sister, and I have established a YouTube account named Nomadic Siblings. It is done in ASL, or “pigeon” if you want to get technical, with subtitles. So that it is suited for both Deaf and Hearing people.

As our family is part Deaf and the other part Hearing, C.O.D.A really, even Mom’s CODA as her Dad’s Deaf too. So we understand what a hassle it is to find something that is suited for both the hearing and Deaf.

Nomadic Siblings will have video’s ranging from:

Scripture

History

Stories

Our adventures

Fun things

and so much more!

We only have one video out right now and that its on Hanukkah. Our signing is a bit stiff and not the best, but we will improve over time.

Hanukkah by Nomadic Siblings

And head over to my brothers blog where he explains this much better and I mean A LOT better!

fromthericefields

Hope you watch it, and tell us what you think.

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Birds of Paradise

I’M DONE!!! WHOOOOHOOOOO! I cannot tell you how happy I am to be done!

I guess I should tell you what I’m so happy about. I finished my cross stich! OH YEAH I’m so happy! Why you ask, well

one: I’ve had it for almost 6 months

two: it drove me insane, because even though I had the blue print for it, there weren’t any lines on the cloth so I lost count, messed up and well things went a little haywire. Which is why I put it down for a few months.

Last month Mom put in lines when I asked her for help. After that it just went smoothly, and I am now done.

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It’s a cross stich of an Australian flower Birds of Paradise. A beautiful flower but, after the frustrating time I had with it I have a bit of a dislike for those flowers.

I don’t mind cross stich, but, I think Erin’s much better at it than I am. She’s almost done with hers, she just has a bit left.

I can understand how people both love and dislike cross stich.

Its going into my scriptures, and it’s staying there for awhile! It was fun when it wasn’t confusing, and I may do another one but that won’t be for a little bit.

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I’m glad for a new book marker though. It will be nice to have an official book marker for my Bible. And my Mom will tell you I love book markers. I’m always making them when I can, I don’t use half of them, they’re just fun to make.

It gets me excited to read my Bible so I can use it. Not a good thing to get me to read the Bible. I need to work on that.

I remember one of the first book markers I made. It was made from paper, and it said Chapter by Chapter Book by Book, for when I was reading the Bible from front to back. To remind myself that its just chapter by chapter and book by book.    That was one of the first ones the others had flowers and stripes. It became a fad among us kids. I think I was the only one that kept it up.

But that’s my news I’m finished my cross stich. It may seem strange to you that I’m so happy to be done, but, I love to finish my crafts so then I can use them, or be able to say I’m done. I’m also glad that its just done and the frustrating-ness of it is over. Not to mention that my Grandmothers can’t see it up close and see the stiches and go over the blue print. BOY would you see all the mistakes. You didn’t hear that from me, as far as its concerned it’s a job well done.