Second, Third and a Day Off!

So this is my second official day of school! Excitement!? Not really, I was late for class because I miss timed the bus, and that’s not happening again if I can help it! Then after class I got called into the office and the lady was asking me if I went to orientation and saying that I hadn’t enrolled yet and wondering if I was in the right class so on and on. Which threw me for a loop because I enrolled before orientation, and I was there, and I was in the right class. What was wrong with these people, I thought, did something go wrong with the paper work!? There shouldn’t be anything wrong with it. When they stopped asking me all these questions and I was able to actually answer them, it was all cleared up. One, I was enrolled they just missed me on the list, two I was in orientation just not in the one she was in, I was in the other one (make any sense? no, I didn’t think so), three I was in the right class! So all that for no reason and they came to realize I wasn’t one of the people they were looking for.

And that was my morning. Not a very good way to start your first full week of school.

Tomorrow is the second one and I am NOT going to be late! Even if that means getting up early. Normal to me is 5:30am early is more like 4:30.

 

Now yesterday was my third day at school. A much better day, I wasn’t late and was on time all day. I talked to one of my classmates on the bus, and that was really good.

My Teacher Pav, is stern but fun all at the same time. And because we’re going through to get our certificates in Youth or community services he will be teaching Communication and Cultural diversity in this class. But, as he says, we can’t help and understand others until we know who we are and where we stand. So he will be helping us do that for the next 8 weeks. He’s also teaching my Thursday morning class. He’s just an interesting teacher, he knows a lot about psychology and we will be learning a bit about that in all his classes. A very interesting subject. I took 4 pages of notes, that tells you how interesting and how much info is being packed into my brain. It may not be a lot of notes to you but when you only take maybe 3 pages in the other classes it’s a lot of notes!

Today is my off day! Everyone is so Happy for a day off. It is a day to recoup and study before the next 3 classes (I’ve got two classes on Thursday).

I must be boring you with all this school stuff so I’ll stop now.

But one interesting fact before I go,

Did you know that there are 10 reasons why people get married?

Well there are I’ll name them for you. Now its not in exact order, and it may be put in different ways depending on the list, but yeah. Here they are:

  • to have children
  • socially acceptable (its what our society expects)
  • arranged
  • Wealth
  • financially
  • Fear of being alone
  • love
  • Attraction
  • friendship
  • for religious reasons
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An explanation for Traveller and Friend

My last poem, Traveller and Friend, I’ve gotten responses ranging from, what the poem was actually about to thinking that I’ve fallen in “Love”. So in clarification to the poem

1. I am not in love. No need to be concerned in that area.

2. The poem was to express my fears and concerns about the next step in life that my family is about to take. It scares me, I mean it terrifies me.

Father Yah has shown my family to settle, I won’t put in the details of that “settle”, at least not in this post. Because its almost irrelevant, its just the word “Settle” that strikes fear and hope into my heart. Weird huh?

10 years ago we sold our house, but it wasn’t until 8 years ago that we really started travelling. So for almost 1/2 my life Travelling, or at least not having any roots has been my life. And its all I know. For almost 8 years we’ve been praying for a place of our own. Over the past couple of years that prayer has increased.

It was always a distant dream that we could dream, but were forbidden to touch. At least for those years. It was a dream that gave us hope to keep going when times were tough and we wanted to give up. It was His promise to us, and one that we prayed about almost everyday and probably several times a day during the hard times.

Not many people understood, we were constantly being ridiculed and put down in different ways, because of our life style. By people who were established, and you can guess their argument was, a major part of it was because my Dad didn’t work. Well there were two reasons for that: A. we traveled there was no place for my Dad to do wood pattern making,   B. He worked full time in the ministry, he had no time to do pattern making even if it was possible.

But they weren’t the only ones to put us down. The couple that we traveled with and those really close to them, were always putting down people who had a house and didn’t live like they did, like they were wimps or something. So they could not understand our dream, nor would they help in that way.

And that’s a sore spot for me. I hate being nailed as soft. So when that was implied through out my life I went to lengths to show that I wasn’t. And its been a constant sore spot since. For me to put roots down which I have always been told (Not by my parents) is a show of softness. Even though that it has been my prayer, and dream I’ve always been afraid of it in a way that if I do get roots I’ll become soft.

I understand that this is an unfounded fear, and a silly one at that.

That’s not the only reason, just one of the major ones, another one is I don’t know how to live a life like this and its going to take awhile. With all the paper work and everything, my brother almost having emotional breakdowns everyday, the stress of finding a place to live and all these options but having no options at all, I’m starting to wonder if this is really worth it.

And with Dad saying that YHWH’s saying that settling is only for a time. Is it really worth it? Is it really worth the risk that He’ll take it all away once we get somewhere in all of this?

I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t take this, I realize that. And who knows what Father has planned and for how long.

But the bottom line is: Is It Really Worth It?

The Traveller and Friends

Afula and Tiberias 005 signed

Right now I am facing a hard trial. Except it isn’t a trial, it’s a blessing, but one that makes me both want to jump up and down for joy, and bolt all at once! Most of you would think that I would not hesitate for this chance but I am, strange is it not? Then again you do not know what this blessing is. So let me write a poem to explain such a blessing:

Traveller:

I have prayed a prayer

I have sought Your face on this matter

I have petitioned day and night

While at the same time been afraid that You

Will or Would not hear

I don’t know which I would be afraid of more

Until one evening the Most High answered

and said:

“This prayer has been granted for your sake”

What am I to do

Such a prayer I have prayed for years

I do not know what to do

with such an answered prayer

 

Friends of Traveller:

Such an opportunity

Such a blessing

We have prayed the same prayer

since you were young

We thank the Father for such a blessing

 

Traveller:

A blessing it is

An answered prayer it may be

But I am terrified to take it

Yet I am terrified not to

 

Friends of Traveller:

But you must

For this has been an ongoing prayer

that has finally been answered

And to be terrified of such a thing

Is preposterous

For there is more security in this life

Than in the one you are living

 

Traveller:

While what you say is true

there is one thing that is not

In the way I live there is a security

For that is the only way of life I know

For in taking this blessing

What if He takes it away

I do not want to go through that

That is what I fear most of all

That He shall take it away

Once I am settled in this blessing

 

Friend of Traveller:

There is naught to fear

For it is all a blessing

You shall now be like us

And have a life

that you have missed

until now

 

Traveller:

I shall take this blessing

But it is not with out fear

For what I fear may come to pass yet

It is not that I fear it in the long run

But that I fear

That once He sees me as established

He shall take it all away once again

I fear that He will be angry with me

I fear I will become unworthy

I fear all this and more

 

Friends of Traveller:

But that is silly

He would not be displeased with you

For something He chose to give

For He knows that if told no

You would have stopped asking

He knows that you would not go against it

He wants to bless you with such a thing

Just keep Him in the center of it all

You can’t go wrong there

For if He tells you time to go

You shall

For that is your nature

And that is why He has trusted you

With such a gift.

 

Traveller:

I see that you are right

I will go forth in this

I will pass this fear

And I shall keep Him in the center

For life would be bleak and empty with out Him

Hearts: Can you trust them?

Queensland 121

Can I trust my heart?

This is a valid question, and one many including myself have asked. You’ve heard and possibly even said, “ follow your heart” “listen to your heart” or “ what’s your heart telling you”. You may have said or heard the exact opposite, “ Don’t listen to your heart, it can be deceitful” “ you can’t make proper decisions with your heart because it isn’t logical” and other things.

Lets look at this scripturally first, then we’ll look at it in our own lives.

(Psa 10:17)  יהוה, You have heard the desire of the lowly ones; You prepare their heart; You incline Your ear,

(Psa 37:4)  And delight yourself in יהוה, And let Him give you the desires of your heart.

(Psa 84:5)  Blessed is the man whose strength is in You; Your ways are in their hearts.

(Pro 3:5)  Trust in יהוה with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;

(Pro 16:9)  A man’s heart plans his way, But יהוה establishes his steps.

Each of these verses have something to say about the heart. They tell us that our heart gives us ideas and can in fact be right about some things, but we need to give it over to Father so that He can guide us.

Now lets look at the verses say the almost opposite of the ones above.

Pro 28:26  He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely is delivered.

Mat 15:18  “But what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and these defile the man.
Mat 15:19  “For out of the heart come forth wicked reasonings, murders, adulteries, whorings, thefts, false witnessings, slanders.

Mar_7:21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,

Then we have it saying that its foolish to trust your heart, but if you walk wisely you are saved. The beginning of wisdom is the fear of YHWH, that’s somewhere in Proverbs.

Matthew gives us good reason not to trust the heart, for it is filled with vile things.

Still yet:

(Psa_119:11)  I have treasured up Your word in my heart, That I might not sin against You.

If He and His word is in us we don’t need to fear what is in our heart, for He has said that He will write his commands upon our hearts. We will still need to be cautious and continuously check it for what is not good but, for the most part all we want to do is follow Him. And so that is what our heart will want too.

We can’t always trust our heart but, we would also be foolish to shove it to the side and not check and see what’s inside. To discern what is right in there and to cast out what is not. Because the more we check ourselves and what is in our heart, and replace the bad with the good, the less wickedness will dwell there. We will also be able to catch it faster, for we will have a better sense of right and wrong.

But, we need to be careful, because there are times when we are afraid to see what’s in there. We don’t want to see it, for two possible different reasons.

One: Afraid that it won’t be right.

Two: Afraid that it is.

Both these aren’t reasons to be scared, because if it isn’t right then you can replace it with something that is, and if it is right well that’s another time to count when your heart was right. Can you see where I’m going here?

You can’t trust your heart 100% but, you shouldn’t ignore it either. Because Father puts it in our hearts first then confirms it. We always need to inspect our hearts and make sure they are right with Him, then if they are clean we have no reason to be afraid of what’s in there.

I guess that is the conclusion. Search your own heart, is Father trying to show you some thing though it?

Surviving-the-enduring-race