Life

DSCF5462 croped and signed

Life, what is that to you,

a job,

a car,

a life that has it all?

DSCF5513 croped and signed

What is life to you,

is it a house all big and pompous,

or is it your family

cherished all these years?

What does life mean to you,

a job big and famous,

everything you ever wanted,

or your savior?

DSCF1372 signed

What is life to you,

can you step away from it all,

are you willing to take up your stake

and follow Him to the end?

What is life to you,

a job

or Messiah,

a house,

or your family?

DSCF5631 croped and signed

What is Life?

Advertisements

Revelation

I know many Christians believe in the Rapture. There is one part in the Bible that says:

Mat 24:40  Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
Mat 24:41  Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

A lot of people say that these verses are talking about the rapture. But is this our Abba’s nature? To take us out of suffering? Christians, Messianic’s, and Jews have been suffering for centuries. He didn’t take them out of the world then, why would He do it now? Is Salvation a free ticket out of enduring the end times?

What about those left on the earth that are not saved? Would we not be ignoring the great commission? I know many say that the majority of Christians will be taken up and some Christians remain to do the rest of the work. That’s what the movie “Left Behind” indicates, that the majority are taken and the rest are left, but, isn’t that being selfish. Leaving someone else to suffer while you go and have the easiest time up there while your fellow brother dies?

This does not seem to be our Fathers nature. He let His own Son suffer for us, and now we say we want an easy ride out of everything. The people in China, Russia, and many other countries suffer persecution, die for their faith, are put in prison. Yet us in the west know nothing of it, and just want a free ride. Everything we could want: fame, money, a good name, reputation, and connections.

Did any of Fathers true disciples have a easy life? Even after Yahushua’s death. Look at Paul (Sha’ul) he died a very agonizing death, Peter was crucified upside down, John was put on an Island and most likely never made it off. Father did not “rapture” them out then. So why now? If we all leave who will show the Jews the Messiah, who will encourage their fellow brothers when times are hard. From way up there are we going to look down and say,”terrific job, keep it up, we will see you when all this is over” to our brothers and sisters. While we sit up there in His presence? I do not think that is fair, nor that is my Abba’s nature.

Look from beginning to end in the Bible about this. Think about this. Talk to Yahuweh about it. Find out from Him what He has in store for His people in this great time of trouble.

Struggles

I am sure many other than myself have struggled with this, but for now I will put my own personal experience in.

For years I have struggled with low self esteem. I struggled with it severally when I was between the ages of 8-15. I used to sit in my room and write hate letters to myself for hours, and was never noticed except by my mom but even she didn’t know the full extent of it. I also distanced myself form my family because I thought that I made them look bad. I didn’t confess this until years later or if I did it was taken lightly.

When we moved back to Canada I didn’t have the luxury of locking myself up in a room so I switched to just doing it in my head. So that was the end of the “letters” but not necessarily the end of the words that went onto the paper. I hid it better but got into more things that I really shouldn’t have. You see, from the time I was 7 (actually before that but that’s another story), my parents were so busy with other things. I saw them practically everyday, but it wasn’t the seeing them part it was the part that they had no time to sit and talk. My brother and I went to school, so there was no time during the day, and on weekends my mom was usually on the phone interpreting for my dad or we went to see another couple (which all us kids hated going). There was no family time that year. Then we moved to Australia, that was a year that is muddled together. Also that was the year that I started the hate letters. We then moved back to Canada, and eventually started traveling in a 24 foot travel trailer (21 feet living space). We started spending a little more family time, but there still wasn’t much as we traveled with another couple that always had to have a 2 hour meeting everyday followed by a often lunch of thank you, and then another often 1-3 hour latter in the day, and another quite often after supper too. Mom was also -when not over there with dad- on the phone interpreting most of the day. So I was often left with the cooking, looking after and putting to bed the younger ones. I grew up really fast and although with all this responsibility, I still had very low self esteem.

I had considered cutting myself, I was close to it but I knew I couldn’t handle the pain and my parents would find out quick because I wore tee shirts quite a lot and didn’t have many long sleeved ones.

One of my main points of low self esteem was my size. I was always large for my age. So I thought maybe I could remedy it with anorexia or bulimia, I was again really close to it and only Yahuweh knows why I couldn’t do it. But even at the age of twelve and never having been exposed to it openly before, I knew what it would do to me and my family.

I was convinced that I didn’t matter, I didn’t have the amazing testimonies my brother did, or go through difficult trials like he did, I was convinced I didn’t have a role to play. This went on for some years. I still struggle with it today. I don’t have the stories that my brother or dad does. I was always very quiet, I stood in the back corner but yet people said that I lit up the room just by being there but I never could believe them. I still have a hard time. Maybe it is because of all the blackness I see inside of myself that I can’t see it that way. I used to feel that they said something nice about everyone else so they had to say something about me. This is a mistake of mine. I should have accepted what they said instead of shrugging it off and saying horrible things to myself that it wasn’t true and it was just to make me feel better.

A couple of months ago I finally told my dad about it all. We worked through it, not all of it but a good majority of it. I know this will be one of my hardest battles to fight. I‘m not victorious yet. There is a long hard battle to fight but hopefully the battle will be shorter than I think.

I don’t want this to be a downer but an encouragement to those out there going through the same thing, you’re not the only one. There are those that have gone through the same or similar. And no matter how far you seem to be in the pit, there is always a way out through Yahushua HaMessiach (The Messiah).