Second, Third and a Day Off!

So this is my second official day of school! Excitement!? Not really, I was late for class because I miss timed the bus, and that’s not happening again if I can help it! Then after class I got called into the office and the lady was asking me if I went to orientation and saying that I hadn’t enrolled yet and wondering if I was in the right class so on and on. Which threw me for a loop because I enrolled before orientation, and I was there, and I was in the right class. What was wrong with these people, I thought, did something go wrong with the paper work!? There shouldn’t be anything wrong with it. When they stopped asking me all these questions and I was able to actually answer them, it was all cleared up. One, I was enrolled they just missed me on the list, two I was in orientation just not in the one she was in, I was in the other one (make any sense? no, I didn’t think so), three I was in the right class! So all that for no reason and they came to realize I wasn’t one of the people they were looking for.

And that was my morning. Not a very good way to start your first full week of school.

Tomorrow is the second one and I am NOT going to be late! Even if that means getting up early. Normal to me is 5:30am early is more like 4:30.

 

Now yesterday was my third day at school. A much better day, I wasn’t late and was on time all day. I talked to one of my classmates on the bus, and that was really good.

My Teacher Pav, is stern but fun all at the same time. And because we’re going through to get our certificates in Youth or community services he will be teaching Communication and Cultural diversity in this class. But, as he says, we can’t help and understand others until we know who we are and where we stand. So he will be helping us do that for the next 8 weeks. He’s also teaching my Thursday morning class. He’s just an interesting teacher, he knows a lot about psychology and we will be learning a bit about that in all his classes. A very interesting subject. I took 4 pages of notes, that tells you how interesting and how much info is being packed into my brain. It may not be a lot of notes to you but when you only take maybe 3 pages in the other classes it’s a lot of notes!

Today is my off day! Everyone is so Happy for a day off. It is a day to recoup and study before the next 3 classes (I’ve got two classes on Thursday).

I must be boring you with all this school stuff so I’ll stop now.

But one interesting fact before I go,

Did you know that there are 10 reasons why people get married?

Well there are I’ll name them for you. Now its not in exact order, and it may be put in different ways depending on the list, but yeah. Here they are:

  • to have children
  • socially acceptable (its what our society expects)
  • arranged
  • Wealth
  • financially
  • Fear of being alone
  • love
  • Attraction
  • friendship
  • for religious reasons
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Back to School

<written 31 jan 2013>

Sorry I haven’t posted in awhile. Things have been hectic, I’ve been getting ready for school, yes school. I am now in a 9 month T.A.F.E course, I enrolled earlier this week and had orientation yesterday. I would have posted last night but I was brain fried, and that was just after orientation! I almost don’t want to think of how I’m going to be after a week of classes. My first class is this Friday, I’m looking forward to it, but I’m looking forward to Sabbath even more.

Orientation was Awesome, I’m going to like my teachers I think, and kept emphasizing that if we needed any help just ask, they said it about every 5-6 sentences. I found that really reassuring.

The people who were doing orientation were serious but with just the right amount of humor to keep our attentions. They really love what they do, and it showed when they talked about it. I didn’t talk to a lot of people, I did talk to 2 of my classmates though, and by then end of the class I wasn’t shaking with nerves anymore. The class is a mixture of age ranges, from my parents age down to mine. Many of them looking for a change of career, others just got out of high school and want to go this route.

It’s a mixture in my class, some are going for their cert IV and diplomas others are going for 2 cert IV, so because I’m going for 2 Certs I have more classes than if I was just working on the one.

I’m still not sure what kind of a job I can get when I finish this course, but TAFE helps their students find jobs and transfer into the work force. They said to treat TAFE like you would going to work not like you would School. Because its easy to blow off school but not so much work.

Posts will probably get significantly less as the weeks go on but I will try to keep the blog up as much as I can.

The right of self-defense

As you’re probably heard on the news the last couple of days. Many rockets have been fired into Israel, and surprisingly people are saying that Israel’s wrong to respond.

Just in the last few hours 4 rockets fired from Gaza struck Ashdod. One hit a house, another a car, a third hit near a kindergarten, and one in an open area. Yesterday a rocket hit near Jerusalem, and another near Tel-Aviv.

Seriously people all you can think of is Gaza!? Look at Gaza they are not as bad off as they make themselves look. Israel has endured over 600 rockets in the last 48 hours, and you’re thinking that Israel’s wrong to retaliate?

Hamas runs into hospitals, set up their rockets and terror points, near or in playgrounds, schools, hospitals and in other places where civilians can get hurt. Israel has no other choice but to hit those areas. Where, Hamas isn’t hitting military establishments in Israel they are aiming for civilians, not the military.

Israel has lived through terror all of its just over 62 years of existence. Most of us would have run with our tail between our legs but, the people here have stuck it out. They know that this is the promised land, the land that was promised to our forefathers and they won’t let it go. Because as the Bible says it is our inheritance, just as we are His inheritance. We shouldn’t forsake it, just as He has not forsaken us.

Defeat terror.

                      Stand with Israel.

                                                  Stand with His people.

Struggles

I am sure many other than myself have struggled with this, but for now I will put my own personal experience in.

For years I have struggled with low self esteem. I struggled with it severally when I was between the ages of 8-15. I used to sit in my room and write hate letters to myself for hours, and was never noticed except by my mom but even she didn’t know the full extent of it. I also distanced myself form my family because I thought that I made them look bad. I didn’t confess this until years later or if I did it was taken lightly.

When we moved back to Canada I didn’t have the luxury of locking myself up in a room so I switched to just doing it in my head. So that was the end of the “letters” but not necessarily the end of the words that went onto the paper. I hid it better but got into more things that I really shouldn’t have. You see, from the time I was 7 (actually before that but that’s another story), my parents were so busy with other things. I saw them practically everyday, but it wasn’t the seeing them part it was the part that they had no time to sit and talk. My brother and I went to school, so there was no time during the day, and on weekends my mom was usually on the phone interpreting for my dad or we went to see another couple (which all us kids hated going). There was no family time that year. Then we moved to Australia, that was a year that is muddled together. Also that was the year that I started the hate letters. We then moved back to Canada, and eventually started traveling in a 24 foot travel trailer (21 feet living space). We started spending a little more family time, but there still wasn’t much as we traveled with another couple that always had to have a 2 hour meeting everyday followed by a often lunch of thank you, and then another often 1-3 hour latter in the day, and another quite often after supper too. Mom was also -when not over there with dad- on the phone interpreting most of the day. So I was often left with the cooking, looking after and putting to bed the younger ones. I grew up really fast and although with all this responsibility, I still had very low self esteem.

I had considered cutting myself, I was close to it but I knew I couldn’t handle the pain and my parents would find out quick because I wore tee shirts quite a lot and didn’t have many long sleeved ones.

One of my main points of low self esteem was my size. I was always large for my age. So I thought maybe I could remedy it with anorexia or bulimia, I was again really close to it and only Yahuweh knows why I couldn’t do it. But even at the age of twelve and never having been exposed to it openly before, I knew what it would do to me and my family.

I was convinced that I didn’t matter, I didn’t have the amazing testimonies my brother did, or go through difficult trials like he did, I was convinced I didn’t have a role to play. This went on for some years. I still struggle with it today. I don’t have the stories that my brother or dad does. I was always very quiet, I stood in the back corner but yet people said that I lit up the room just by being there but I never could believe them. I still have a hard time. Maybe it is because of all the blackness I see inside of myself that I can’t see it that way. I used to feel that they said something nice about everyone else so they had to say something about me. This is a mistake of mine. I should have accepted what they said instead of shrugging it off and saying horrible things to myself that it wasn’t true and it was just to make me feel better.

A couple of months ago I finally told my dad about it all. We worked through it, not all of it but a good majority of it. I know this will be one of my hardest battles to fight. I‘m not victorious yet. There is a long hard battle to fight but hopefully the battle will be shorter than I think.

I don’t want this to be a downer but an encouragement to those out there going through the same thing, you’re not the only one. There are those that have gone through the same or similar. And no matter how far you seem to be in the pit, there is always a way out through Yahushua HaMessiach (The Messiah).